But that's what happened for the summer's second 5km nude run at the Naturist Foundation in Orpington, Kent. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was pleasingly warm as over 100 runners, with a good gender-balance of male and female, stripped off their clothes for a run through the club's 50 acres of lush woodland park.
They were joined by at least 100 more supporters and club members, clothed and naked, who were kept busy as race marshals, timers, recorders and the like or handing out drinks of water along the course.
It could have been any club 5k run - except for all the runners being totally nude apart from running shoes and some of the women wearing sports bras.
I, of course, was one of the runners. Nineteen months on from the stroke which nearly killed me as I collapsed in the road inches away from a 47-seater bus, I was running/walking/staggering/stumbling to raise money for Different Strokes, the charity which helps younger stroke survivors.
Given that I was still walking with the help of sticks until late-July, it may seem somewhat surprising that I was able to take part in a 5k, but my finishing time didn't matter to me. What mattered was taking part and finishing, justifying the faith shown in me by my many sponsors and supporters and my amazing therapist/trainer Emily Smedley, as well as companies such as healthcurrancy.co.uk and Vivobarefoot UK who have helped my training regime. Strokies often say there is no such word as 'can't' in stroke rehab. I wanted to do this race and prove it.
A naturist race? Well, yes. Anyone who knows me will understand why it had to be naturist but it's all explained on my fundraising page at uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MartinWarrillow. And anyway, having been involved in naturism for over 20 years, I know that naked running is no different to clothed running and possibly easier.
When I arrived just before 11am, most people were already nude, with runners doing warm-ups around the start area or having their race numbers painted in lipstick on their arms and chests.
So I quickly stripped off, registered, got my number and a vital bottle of water and joined the rest of the field on the start line in front of the clubhouse. I managed to stay with the enthusiastic club runners (both male and female) for the first kilometre and to keep running for most of the second; after that, it was determination not to let down my sponsors which spurred me on. Much of the time, I progressed at a fast walk; some of the time, especially on the downhill stretches, I managed to break into a trot.
Many of my fellow runners had already heard why I was competing and there were frequent encouraging shouts as more athletic types went past. It was undoubtedly a boost to see Mrs W helping out at one of the water stations, as well.
I completed the run in just over 48 minutes and have a certificate to prove it. There were only three occasions when I feared I may have to give up; when I twice stumbled on the same set of stone steps built into a grassy bank and when I almost became lost right at the end of the course, unsure of whether to turn left or right at a fork in the path.
But I crossed the finishing line eventually - shattered but elated, greeted by scores of well-wishers and able to reflect on one of the proudest things I've ever done. My left ankle hurt like hell (Emily blames my training shoes, lol) and all I wanted was a chance to sit down and 'rehydrate'.
Later in the afternoon I enjoyed a much-needed swim and sauna (naked, obviously) and related my story to photographer Amelia Allen, who was there to take pictures for a project on 21st-century naturism.
Will I do it again? Definitely. The whole thing has been a tremendous experience. Naturism and naturist events are part of who I am and the fact that I was able to compete and finish means I've achieved another massive goal in my bid to start again after my stroke almost killed me.
At the time of writing, I have raised over £860 in sponsorship. When I signed up I didn't have a target in mind. Now, I'd love to get over the £1,000 mark. My page at uk.virginmoneygiving.com/MartinWarrillow will be open for a while yet if you would like to help.
* There are pictures of me taking part in the event and receiving my certificate. I haven't included them here because my technical ability won't let me crop them to avoid offence to those who might not approve of naturism. I don't have a problem with them, however. I have already posted them to a Facebook naturist group of which I'm a member and some of them will be appearing in a feature about the run in next month's H&E magazine (as will my regular column on naturism and disability in H&E, focusing on the run).
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